


'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified'

by internetakeover (nymeriahale)



Series: prompt fills [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/internetakeover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: 'I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified'

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on [tumblr](http://internetakeover.tumblr.com/post/136260376732/20-and-32-for-phan)

‘Tell me a secret?’ Dan asks, having run out of things to say but not wanting to go to sleep yet. Phil is lying in his bed for the first time, his actual physical body rather than his face on a screen, and Dan wants to treasure the moment for as long as possible. He’s still surprised Phil had been allowed to sleep in his room, even if he was meant to be on the air mattress on the floor, but he hadn’t exactly wanted to question it when his mum had agreed. Maybe his parents finally understand that he’s growing up now, and they can’t stop him from living his own life.

Dan’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost misses Phil’s soft reply.

‘I was so nervous about meeting your parents that I almost threw up at the train station,’ Phil admits.

Dan laughs, as gently as he can. ‘Really?’ he prompts.

‘Yeah,’ Phil nods, thankfully not looking put out by Dan’s laughter. ‘I mean, I’m your older boyfriend from the internet, it’s not a great first impression. I thought they’d be bound to hate me.’

Dan had worried about that too, secretly, but doesn’t think it would be helpful to say. ‘They could never,’ he insists, relenting a little at Phil’s sceptical look. ‘Okay, well, my dad just needs to get to know you a little more, and half of it’s just him trying to intimidate you anyway, he does like you. You’ve charmed my mum already, and she’ll work on him.’ Dan’s not lying, is the thing, Phil had fit in with and charmed his family - especially his little brother - faster than Dan had really thought possible. It’s making him rethink his view on them, actually, to have them accept Phil so fast.

‘Tell me a secret,’ Phil says after a few moments of quiet, and Dan wonders if Phil’s doing the same as him, prolonging this moment. 

Dan has to think for a moment; Phil already knows almost all of his secrets, certainly more than anyone else.

‘I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified,’ Dan says, all in a rush, before he can think himself out of it.

Phil just stares for a beat, almost long enough for Dan to regret his words, before a delighted smile spreads over his face. ‘Oh, baby,’ he says softly, pulling Dan in for a brief kiss. ‘I love you too, so much.’

Dan can’t help but smile back just as widely as Phil is, feeling like he’s glowing with the confirmation of Phil’s feelings, lighter with the relief.

‘But why are you scared?’ Phil asks, gentle.

‘They’re not, uh, necessarily linked,’ Dan explains haltingly, taking Phil’s hand and playing with his fingers, focusing on that rather than his reactions as he tries to straighten out his thoughts. ‘They are a bit, like, it’s so tough to be away from you, what if we can’t keep this up, what if you think I’m not worth it,’ Dan doesn’t allow himself to pause, talks over Phil’s attempt to reassure him, ‘but mostly it’s just like, uni, the future. I’m worried about going to this lawyer’s - what if I hate it? I’m committed to it as a future now, sort of, but I can’t ever see myself being a lawyer, and I don’t have a clue where I want to go to uni - the only one I have any kind of preference on is Manchester, to be near you, but they’re such a good uni, and I’m so stressed about this psychology resit but I can’t make myself work, and I just. I don’t know what I want beyond YouTube. And you,’ Dan adds, finally, after a moments silence while Phil seems to digest what he’s just said, gathering his courage to glance up at Phil’s face. ‘Sorry, I know I’m a mess,’ Dan mutters, finding Phil looking more than a little overwhelmed, ducking his head again.

‘No, that’s not...’ Phil trails off, seems to be struggling to find his words. ‘Dan, I don’t know either,’ he admits. ‘I’ve got the degree, sure, and the Masters, and I love making YouTube videos, but... I’m living at home with my parents. YouTube and you are the only things I’m sure of, too, I’m just focusing on them rather than everything I haven’t got worked out.’

Dan thinks he should probably feel a bit worse for Phil that he’s admitted to being as much of an unsure mess as him, but it sure is reassuring. ‘You’ve got so many subscribers, you’re so talented, you can make YouTube work,’ Dan insists. ‘That _is_ your future, if anyone can do it you can.’

‘So can you,’ Phil replies, just as firm, leans in to kiss Dan as what Dan thinks is probably an attempt to cut off any further argument, but he can’t bring himself to mind if it is.


End file.
